Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Contagious
A man walks into the doctor's office to get a check up. As he sits waiting, a woman comes in sneezing.
When the sneezing woman gets called into the doctors office, the man starts sneezing. A little while later,
the man is still waiting, when a woman comes in itching all over her body. When the itching woman gets
called into the doctors office, the man starts to itch, and continues sneezing. A little while later,
the man is still waiting, when a woman comes in puking her guts out.
When the puking woman gets called into the doctors office, the man starts puking, and continues sneezing and itching.
The man starts wondering what is wrong with him and asks the nurse if it is normal. The nurse tells him that sometimes
when you are sick, your immune system goes on the fritz and you can catch just about everything you come
in contact with. By this point the man is a mix of paranoid of the people around him,
miserable from his side effects and very mad that he has to wait for so long. As he is waiting, a pregnant woman walks into the room... ...
He ran out screaming.
2 Quarters or a Dollar?
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied,"Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"